• Friday Funny – Scholars: Lot’s Wife Actually Died Trying To Take Selfie While Fleeing Sodom

    U.S.—Bible scholars now believe that Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of salt after she stopped to take a series of selfies while fleeing Sodom and Gomorrah.  "For a long time the text puzzled us," said evangelical scholar Brett Markin. "Why did she look back? But now it's clear: she... Read more
  • Friday Funny: After Being Told To Go Find His Shoes, Local Boy Miraculously Struck With Blindness Like Saul On The Road To Damascus

    BIRMINGHAM, AL—Saul of Tarsus was struck blind on the road to Damascus after hearing the voice of Jesus. Similarly, Billy Wilkerson, age four, was also miraculously struck blind, though the cause was being told exactly where to find his shoes. “They’re right in the middle of your... Read more
  • Friday Funny: Woman Finally Off Hook For Forgiving Husband As He Leaves Socks On Floor For 491st Time

    Local woman Kristi Larson is a careful student of God's Word. She especially likes Jesus's emphasis on forgiveness, such as when the Messiah instructed Peter to forgive people 70x7 times. Since reading that passage, Larson has kept a tally of how many times her husband, David, has left his... Read more
  • Friday Funny: Nation Takes Break From Killing Babies To Mourn Death Of Cat

    The nation took a break from cheering on the murder of babies to mourn the death of a cat, sources confirmed Friday. The country that kills nearly a million babies every year was shocked to learn that Grumpy Cat had passed away. Millions paid tribute to the funny feline, saying the cat had... Read more
  • Friday Funny: Man’s Baptism Overturned After Instant Replay Reveals He Was Not Fully Submerged

    ENCINITAS, CA—Local man Jacob Vasquez was overjoyed to publicly give his life to Christ this past Sunday, being baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Unfortunately, Vasquez's conversion was overturned by officials after an instant replay revealed he was not fully... Read more
  • Friday Funny: Man Quietly Curses Adam And Eve While Mowing Lawn

    SAN DIEGO, CA—According to sources close to local Christian man Jim Leander, the husband and father quietly cursed Adam and Even while mowing the lawn over the weekend, blaming the couple for causing a curse to be placed on the ground and forcing him to weed, mow, water, and trim his lawn... Read more
  • Friday Funny: Teen Driver Glances Up At Road, Nearly Misses Something Cool On Instagram

    GALVISTON, IA—Teenager William Hanks was driving down Interstate 32 yesterday when for a brief moment he looked up from his cell phone and nearly missed something cool on Instagram. The young driver was traveling at a speed of 78 miles per hour when the near-miss occurred. "Life comes at you... Read more
  • Friday Funny: Thousands Of Newborn Babies Recalled For Defective Sleep Module

    Thousands of newborn babies have been recalled upon the revelation that they have a defective sleep module, causing them to wake up crying and hungry over and over again in the middle of the night. Hospitals across the country encouraged tired mothers and fathers to return the babies to the... Read more
  • Friday Funny: King Solomon Accused Of Inappropriate Behavior By 1,000 Of His Wives

    JERUSALEM—Hundreds of women have come forward to accuse King Solomon of Israel of inappropriate behavior, a report revealed. The alleged misconduct reportedly led to strife within Solomon's kingdom as well as the eventual division of Israel. "Frankly, he was pretty obsessed with sex and... Read more
  • Friday Funny: MSNBC Hires Chicken Little As Commentator For Remainder Of Trump’s Term

    After Rachel Maddow had to be airlifted to a nearby hospital for a panic attack as Trump was exonerated by the Mueller report earlier this week, MSNBC executives began looking for a replacement commentator. They considered lots of suitable replacements, from Antifa protestors to a water... Read more